Just a thought...!!!

Watershed or just another misdemeanor for the relentlessly suffering state of India.Is that even a question worth asking at this point of time? Perhaps it wouldn’t have been if the target this time was again a soft one; like the local trains or the bus stations. But yeah, the country’s been hit below the belt. The seemingly unconquerable A-listers are at the receiving end, people who perhaps always thought of terrorism as just a tool for politicians to gain political mileage off sufferings of the common man. It is time now for the common man to show solidarity, when the powerful are at the receiving end of these sympathetic messages.

I feel disgusted at the hypocrisy of politicians who’ve been singing praises for the commandos and officers who’ve lost their lives. It’s more like a pain in the ass syndrome rather than a more empathetic response to what’s wrong. I feel disgusted with myself for not bothering to write anything when blasts shook Jaipur, Delhi and Bangalore but writing when big names have crumbled. Is there a way out? We have enough people who offer solutions, I so wish someone could execute them.

I don’t know what the way forward is. Just that these incidents make us stop for a while in our busy lives to take stock, write a few verses for the unified country that we pretend to be, sing a few praises for the heroic deaths, and try and show sympathy for those whose lives have changed forever. Do they who’ve suffered, even give a damn to our sympathies? Especially when it comes stinking with personal propaganda. I don’t even know if we are competent enough to fight back.

I don’t know what the motive of the other side is, why they are doing all this. Perhaps they have a genuine reason. Are they actually better than us? At least they execute the solutions which they think would alleviate their problems. At least they don’t come across as hypocrites who try and make a killing out of a wolf’s skin. At least they have a common cause which they swear by. But then why don’t they take on the establishment head on? Kill the perpetrators of crime against them instead of targeting people who just want to get on with their lives. Do they really think these incidents will make any difference to people who are not directly affected? It suddenly struck me, let us have an open fight and let the best side win. At least the left-overs will have a happy life. I am sure the thought would scare scores of us who are just thanking their stars for being safe amongst their loved ones.

Why are people like this? The most general responses would probably be they are as they are and you can’t help it. Then why am I the way I am or why are you the way you are? Is it just to fit into the realms of society or is it something you’ve gotten comfortable with. Living a safe life within the framework of the society and dying a sad death with people moving on after you’re gone. Or maybe do something worthwhile. At least express your opinion if you’re not doing something about it. Stop being scared and just break free for one moment. If the feeling of liberation excites you, plunge in; if it scares you, then the choice is yours.

I am not a preacher who’s out on a moral lecturing session. I am a part of you and I feel disgusted with myself. Can we for once in our lives be less political, can we just for once be free from deceit, from living within the realms of our narrow minds. Nah, being indifferent is much easier!!!!!!

GOOD LUCK IT IS...!!!!

The past few days have seen heightened activity in my life. There’s been a flurry of best wishes flying around. A palpable sense of excitement seems to be gripping the air. And yes, thrilled I am.

I haven’t ever stayed up so late when I’m alone. I’ve mostly bored myself to sleep. But today is a big day. I’m heading off to a new world. A new beginning, a new life…!!! And as I freeze the moment, a lot of memories come flooding back. The day when the quest began. The day I heard the name....MICA..!!!

It was during my third year of engineering. A friend had got through MICA. The name stuck around, I don’t know why, but it did. And then I met one more person. Both of us were preparing for CAT. And one fine day, we got talking about our career goals. I asked her, which stream would u choose in MBA. She looked scandalized. ‘I am not interested in an MBA’, she shot back. I didn’t know how to react. I might have laughed at her, I don’t know. And I don’t even remember what I said next. ‘I’m giving CAT for MICA,’ I heard her saying.

A year later I was sitting in my CAT coaching class. A senior counselor walks in and says, ‘lets see what questions you have and then we’ll take the session from there.’ A hand shot up, I asked him, ‘If you get through an IIM-A and MICA which one would you choose?’ Yeah, the class laughed. Thankfully, the counselor didn’t. He gave me his reasoning as to why choosing IIM would be a better choice. But somehow, IIMs never motivated me, MICA did.

I got called for the MICA interviews a couple of times only to get rejected. I had decided that the third attempt would be the last one. “Third time lucky,” must have been invented for some reason. And here I stand, packing my bags for the train I’ve come to call the “MICA EXPRESS”. Probably because I read Harry Potter a lot and as Hogwarts, MICA had been a dream too. Too long a dream, but I feel powerful now. Because iv always respected people who chase their dreams, Iv always respected people who have dared to dream.

As I stare into the night, looking at an old friend, we talk about all that has gone by. A life that was, and a life that I hope to be. And we feel happy, content. I realize that life at MICA mite just turn out to be just that, life. But at this very moment, I feel happy, happier than I’ve been in a long long time. This is a moment where I congratulate myself for the life that iv had till now, content that the present life has ended with my dreams turning into reality. Because from tomorrow onwards it will be a new beginning. The time to look ahead has come.

Time to board the MICA express and tell myself, “GOOD LUCK IT IS….!!!!!”

The night when you are wide awake…..

“What’s wrong with me??”

I threw this question to my other self, and his first reaction was “what???”..!!! And then he probably understood what I meant. There was this constant battle going on in my mind. I didn’t know what was wrong but I knew something was. I had started forgetting a lot of things, I had started to get angry, I felt that I was so short of time. And then this person took me to the terrace. He wanted me to recollect everything that I thought had been worth remembering, every experience that I had stopped and soaked myself in. I got rather confused, what was this guy doing to me. The sane part of my brain went like “go to sleep, you’ve got work tomorrow, This guy could make you go mad,” but the other half went like “listen to him, he could give you something worthwhile.”

And then I started thinking. Have I started running too fast? Have I stopped feeling, have I stopped caring? And then it went like why am I thinking like this? Everything is fine, it’s just a bit of overworked thing that makes you feel exhausted. My mind was getting overworked again. And then I just stared at the sky. The stars and the infinity beyond. And then I saw an airplane. I started wondering about how peaceful the people on that aircraft would be. Traveling amongst the stars into the peaceful night. I wanted to be amongst them. But then I thought, “I’ve been there myself, I never felt peaceful traveling in an aircraft…!!!” It’s never been peaceful inside an aircraft.

And then the clouds gave way and I saw the moon. And suddenly I felt a smile across my face. When I was a small child I used to go up on the terrace and gaze at the moon. I always tried to picturise the moon as a smiling face. All the black spots upon the moon used to alternate as the eyes, ears, nose and of course the smile. Chandamama, that’s where all this came from. But it still made me happy. It used to be so comforting seeing someone smile at you, night in and night out. Whenever I went to the terrace, chandamama was always there for me, smiling away. The moon still made me happy…!!!! I was overjoyed. This is probably what had been missing from my life all these days.

I don’t know whether I will stop forgetting, whether I will stop getting angry or whether I won’t be short of time anymore, but I don’t really care. It’s one of those feelings where you are content enough, not to really worry about anything else on this planet.


The moment where you connect with yourself…!!! The night when you are wide awake…!!!