RIP

It was late, later than it normally gets...
Sitting in the office, I needed a break...
I checked into my news feed...
Hoping Id find some gossip...
Or an interesting status update...
Or just a joke...
But right there was an RIP post...
Dedicated to a prodigy who lived young, died younger...
For a moment it sounded fake, and hollow...
What if the prodigy had wanted a rocking afterlife...

Destiny's Child

Inspired by an extremely romantic moment narrated to me by someone:

To love and be loved is a privilege
To do it with passion is pride
You sure must be god's favorite child
To always have love by your side

Time travel

Inspired by a morning dose of music and a sudden wave of nostalgia:

Music is the only time-machine that exists.

The Devil Within...

as the seed bore fruit, the shine came on
but the rot was deep, stemming from a time unknown
never realised what was wrong
consumed by the satisfaction of its exploits
overpowered by delight
never to realise the pain of its prey
but then the rot was deep
and the brain was dead
does it ever repent
ud never know
cos its learnt not to show
weakness but power
how it thought it will be
the other side - if only
romancing the light - if only
in the hope of answers
lying on the other side
keep looking

The bird scared of heights

Oi brilliant blue, as you rise in the sky
Up and above, you go high and high
Way down below are those longing eyes
You can’t see them, you wouldn’t even try
The space between was meant to be
Cos those longing eyes could never ever see
The crown on your head
Or the glint in your eyes
How you spread your wings
And just loved to fly
Its eyes were its own
And could never be yours
And it saw as you flew
Oi brilliant blue

The battle and the war

Those moments, when you the see the mass rise,
Far and few, preceded by pain
Pain beyond endurance
The desperation and then the choice
You find that reason to choose
And swear your life to it
The battle rages on
You lose time, you lose life
But the choice is made
You cry, you fight
You lose, you fight
You hate, you fight
You see death, you fight
Cos there’s light within
In the form of hope
In the form of love
In the form of need
And then the song begins
The darkness shifts
The light spreads around you
It’s like the dream you had
The dream which saw you through the pain
The air is fresh, the smiles are true
Your mind and your soul, they look up to you
And you close your eyes
In the arms of your beloved
The choice was right
The deed is done

Thunderstorm

I was sitting in my room when I heard the noise. It isn’t everyday that I’m up till 3 am in the night. But today was for a reason. Pankaj entered the room and told me that our main door was wide open, so were all the balconies, did I leave them open, did I go out, he asked me. But I was too lazy to bother; materialism takes a backseat at these hours I guess. And then there was the sound of clinking iron rods. I stepped out on to the balcony to see pitch dark, the sky had opened up and it was pouring relentlessly. The lights inside my room made the darkness more intense, more complete.. I wanted to feel one with the darkness outside, the only light I wanted to see was the lightning bursts, the only sound I wanted to hear was the sheets of raindrops hitting the earth and the clouds grumbling in anger, shooting down arrows of raindrops, sharp and fast. I switched off the room lights.


I saw the silhouette of an under construction building, right outside. In the backdrop of the lightning, I could see drops of rain clinging onto its bare walls, hoping to hang on for a bit more, before they kiss the ground and lose themselves in the pools below. That is where the sounds of clinking iron rods was coming from. Some part of the building had given way and in the midst of lighting, I could see those rods fallen on purple earth. I still wanted the rain to stop, I wanted to sit outside and stare, breathe. The sky was different than how it everyday is. I like the anomaly, I like the change. I’m too bored of the routine life. But it continues to rain, relentless. I see the most brilliant lightnings I’ve ever seen. Standing on the 11th floor, the world ahead of you, closer to the sky, it looks different, it feels brilliant.

It inspires me to write but the oneness goes as soon as I move back inside the room. The exterior is just a temporary blip. It’s a different world inside.

the last cheer

A thousand kilometres away from the magic that happened a couple of years ago, i sit back trying to catch on to those moments which seem to be drifting away as time starts the decimation... i try to recreate the moments from the first day but the heart does not want to end the story sayin goodbye again... so i traverse the journey in rewind, ending where it all started, the moment i entered these gates, making the first imprint as a MICAn, signing in the student register for the first time...

the myriad of colors engulf me as various adjectives and verbs fly through my head like a movie reel as i lie down on the football field looking at the huge tree and the setting sun behind it... i see pinku sittin in a corner and pubby walkin across as ashish points his camera, trying to freeze time thru his lens... the leaves move as the breeze fills them up... i see formations of birds emerging from trees flying away across the dimming light to i dont know where, but together... its like nature was gently reminding me of the life beyond... saloni, mansi, aron and geet walk past to the treasure chest and i remember the morning that started this day... the purple attempt at football in the cricket field... and the morning tea after the perfect night wen we partied in amaltas for that one more time... i cud hear resounding sounds as I watched in admiration wat the chopra of amaltas had created... i admire it cos u did wat no one else even tried... never thought a post grad hostel cud be similar to the boarding school ones... n i wondered if we cud have done the same with MICA... but i guess its perfection lies in this imperfection...

i slept in palaash 26 again, trying to imagine sinha on the other bed and all those who walked tht door, right from the wake up shouts to the paap nights... i glanced at the power corridor etched on the wall and opened the door of 25 to see if GB was still sleeping there... i look at the disputed washroom and the alternate route to parijat... i look down at ground zero and i look at palaash 3... i look at the knotty boys HQ and walk to the corner of someplace else imagining shot glasses and a huge container of the magic potion as palaash celebrated the brotherhood there... i hear voices announcing birthdays to palaash... i try to hear symmetric sounds from 16 as the clock strikes 8.30... ashvin doesn’t wake up here anymore i realise, but he remains my original music man... i remember the times we used to borrow his speakers for the movies in SH during orientation...i walk past the baddy court and see the courtyard of parijat... i see the door of 9 and the window of 14 and then the music room... remembering the mallu vs maadu baddy matches, i walk past the mess and realise that our concept of time wud not be defined by the mess timings anymore... Sundays wud have more significance than butter chicken as weekends start making sense... i take a run to sh3 from the mess lawn and behind champa as im late for class... i reach the doors to find them locked forever... i walk back trying to touch every corner of this place trying to feel complete and one with it... i walk down the road and remember the jogs... i see the director’s bungalow and remember pat’s cognac... i thank kishore bhai for tolerating and taking care of our “high” lifestyles...

i see twinky and remember the drunkenness and the hug in diu... i see apurv and remember the godliness of bhang... i spot mehta and i know il look forward to yo mamasita and pfc... i see vipul and recall our movie dates... i enter chinar and i see art come to life... i remember my first roll as the experts looked on... i remember the gorgeous courtyard and terrace in the endless parties... i remember the smiling faces as we greeted each other every single day, every time we met... i remember the genuineness of geet’s smile... i enter my room and see saloni’s room opposite on the top... i see the purple, i see the blue, i hear the sound of music as i take the deepest breath of satisfaction.. its magic, all over again...

ending again where it all started, i get down at the gates, i sign in as a MICAn in the student register... i always will... thank u breed... i bow to thy force...

green

As i stare in to the open space in front of me...
The vastness of the emptiness makes me numb...
Its overwhelming, cos its endless...
Its white, absolute and pure...
And then i hear voices...
The running and the shouting...
As the big screen flashes glimpses of the bygone...
The smiles, the tears, the stars and the surreal...
I see color...
And then the rain...
As huge waves of music drown me...
I lose myself in the beauty of the moment...
Its green again...

im human again

Sittin by the corner, thinkin of the life
I see the world ahead unsure of where it might take me...
The journey these two years has been extraordinary...
Absolutely unexpected things have happened...
The old ones are gone, new ones are in place...
The void remains but i dont know if anyone cares...
I never thought it wud end like this...
Never thought id just give in and it wudnt bother me much...
Never thought i cud be careless, never thought id be losin it...
But as i start to care less, i discover a new way of life...
Its scary cos im not in control nemore...
Just doing what feels right, even if its goin wrong at times...
At least it tells me who’s on and who’s not...
Who cares and who does not...
Cos i dont know where il take myself...
Feels good to let someone else do the thinking for a change...
My life’s not exactly mine at the moment...
But the stakes aren’t that high yet...
Amongst the changing world, I thought id be the constant...
Feels good to know that im still human...